Was it not being so thoughtful or solicitous??

Yesterday, 23-rd October 2009, was an important day for a childhood friend of mine. Indeed, the most important day for a man, when a person becomes a full man, an occasion we call a marriage.We grew up in the same town, went to same primary school, attended same university. But the fact that I wasn't there to attend such an important event in his life is something I never thought would happened. It was an important event to me too. Indeed it could have been the most important moment in my life.I prefer here not to make the reason public, but I had my own reason then, by which the occasion could have changed my life. What an incapable, unable, thoughtless or unsolicitous friend I was. Can't avoid from regretting ...
As a matter of fact, this is not the first time I have not being solicitous to my friends. There had been, a couple of, more marriage I had missed. And I am so shameful of my this inability. Because I couldn't show my face on those important days, the guilty feeling always lingers in my mind, due to which meeting again is not just the same it used to be earlier. It is strange, I mean, why is it that things have to be like this. We try to make things better, to let not such things happen. But still, we cannot avoid to not let it happen. Of course, everybody has a life to live. And to live we struggle. We work to feed ourselves. Why can't feeding ourselves become second to making our friends and people we know happier, fulfilling the needful act of a true man. I wonder....

The Uncertainties in the Certainty of Life

Never occurred to me that the life could take such roads entangled with such strange uncertainties in the certainty of life. Sometimes, I find the water rough and it is hard to sail along.At times, the river meanders, things that used to be visible to me have started to get hidden from me, and new things have started to appear on my way. Still, i don't wonder this, and i try to convince myself this is what life is and what it brings to us. Few months back i was there in a place.Indeed, i was there for a while disposing all the worries to the very belief "time heals everything".And i stayed there without any hurry for any new place. Of course i didn't know where could i possibly land up. The uncertainties were always there. I used to imagine then on what my next few months would be like. As much as i try to make things certain, the uncertainty seems to engulf much of my future. It was like hope against hope, looking for possibilities among impossibilities, a wild goose chase.
Lost in the thought for days, I gave up on things that were not supposed to and fought on those that were not meant for me. In such a situation you cannot differentiate on all the things that come to your way. In fact, you really did not know then what was best for you and for the people whom you care about. I couldn't differentiate between the real and virtual. All I knew was that i was real. I was standing, a standing man with firm legs and vulture eyes!!